Villain

I’m fine with being the villain,

I’d rather not divulge the truth,

Because it’s much worse,

How I made you feel in the end,

I felt the whole time,

Being second to another,

You enjoyed spending time with her over me,

Protecting her feelings over mine,

Openly flirting with her,

Yet you couldn’t with me,

At least I was honest,

But not too honest,

That would’ve hurt you,

Really hurt you,

It’s not fair to you,

It’s not your fault,

It’s just my experiences,

I can’t relive them again,

Addictions and abstinence,

I just don’t have the strength,

You’ll find someone who can,

Someone better than me,

Like how you don’t want kids,

Growing up being a second parent,

I was like that, but with my own parents,

Seeing addictions come before loved ones,

How they eat the person you love alive,

I can’t watch that happen again,

Never again,

I’m sorry,

I just can’t take the risk,

I’d rather be the villain,

Than to hurt you in a worse way,

It’s easier to point a finger & blame another,

That I fell for someone else,

That you did everything right,

That you tried,

But it would have never been enough anyway,

Knowing you can’t change who you are,

That’s a deeper cut,

I refuse to wield that blade,

So I’ll be the villain,

To spare you,

Because I care about you